He called me to ask for some photography business advice. He needed counsel on how to move strategically into his next level. I listened to him speak for about 10 minutes and 12.5 seconds. Thereafter, I asked a question that seemed to shock him because it seemed unrelated: How are you treating your wife?
The break in transmission was deafening.
He then proceeded to explain in detail how his wife had been UNWIFELY in recent times. He used 5 minutes 36 seconds to mathematically break down the specifics of what his wife had DONE recently to hurt him.
I listened attentively to him and eventually smiled in German language.
I told him his overall score as a husband is less than 4 over 10. I told him that based on everything I heard, he was at fault and not the wife. He almost shouted at me blurting out that I don’t understand his wife. I almost shouted back at him blurting back that as long as his wife is still a woman, I understood her well. And so I proceeded to give him the real prescription I felt he needed for his ailment.
I told him to get his wife a gift asap. The cost was irrelevant, the thought was all that mattered. Up until then, he always came home with a gift for the 2 children. He apparently forgot that his wife was and is his first BABY. But this time around, he would remember that fact.
“BUY A GIFT ASAP,” I emphasized.
If she asked what the gift was for, tell her she’s been a wonderful person and you just wanted to appreciate God’s goodness to you buy surprising her. He was reluctant. Very very reluctant.
“But I don’t have any money for a gift,” he murmured.
“Then I no longer have time to talk to you,” I replied.
That was about 7 days ago. After 25 minutes back and forth on the phone, we parted ways virtually.
He called me yesterday. And even though he gave me an update about his photography business plans, I asked for an update about his husband duties. He smiled in Ijesha dialect. He told me he got the gift like I asked him to. Apparently he called the wife before heading home that day and asked her what he should buy her when coming home. The wife was shocked and started to laugh on the phone. Wondering subconsciously if he had inpregnated someone, the wife quizzed him on what exactly happened. He said he just wanted to buy her something.
“Use your church mind to buy me anything,” she replied him.
His church mind adviced him to buy Yolanda Yogurt. Or is it Holanda Yogurt. Anyways, all I know is that it’s yogurt he bought. He got home with goodies for his children but presented the Yogurt for his first BABY.
“Mr Seun, she has been happy with me & well behaved for the past few days o,” he responded happily. A tear almost dropped but apparently the tears department in my eye sockets had not resumed for duty. I smiled in Urobo dialect. A marriage has been saved this day in 2022 at least for a few days. I was happy, he was happy, and hopefully the wife would be happy with him for a few more days.
I told him this should be a continuous exercise. I told him I had gotten that wisdom from one of my mentors who always got the wife a gift whenever the wife hurt him. After getting the gift, my mentor will then report her to God and let God know that he needed grace to love his wife unconditionally. God will then apparently touch the wife’s heart and simultaneously bless the man beyond his imagination. I wished there was a class called marriage 101 in university where they taught us nuggets like these. I wish there was….
Long story cut short, this is a message to the few husbands that feel their wife is a descendant of the devil. Dear Husbamd, Sometimes All You Need Is YOGURT. That wife was your first BABY before the babies arrived. Treat her with love (the unconditional one o, not the Hollywood emotional one), gentleness and mostly Wisdom. And if the first thing you noticed 3 sentences back was how I mispelt HUSBAND to be HUSBAMD, then you should realize that maybe you need to work on your skills to easily overlook wife’s mistakes.
Dear HUSBAND, sometimes all you need is a little yogurt and a LOT OF WISDOM. A wise is enough for the word. Or is it A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. Anyways, permit me to go and complete my sleep so I can wake up refreshed to continue the journey I started with you days ago FROM PRISON TO PHOTOGRAPHY to being a transformed personality that you’re presently admiring his pictures & nature upandan.
I celebrate you. Good morning great one.
Seun Akisanmi 